N-O Spells...

Do it again, apparently. If there were a Maddie dictionary, I believe the definition of the word "No" would be as follows:

No: a directive frequently spoken by parents or caregivers that, while being acknowledged, should usually be ignored while continuing to enact undesired activity. If parent or caregiver can be defiantly stared down while continuing undesired activity, so much the better.

"No" would probably be accompanied by a picture, or better yet, a video of Maddie hitting Mommy in the face repeatedly while being told, "No! We do not hit."

Before I go any further, I should apologize for the blog silence as of late. We've been both very busy and very lazy, mostly the latter. We have a couple of posts in the works, ones that involve pictures and maybe some videos; we just need to get it together and get them up. Sorry...

Anyway, back to "No." Really, I'm not sure what else can be said. We say it. She ignores it. Before you begin to doubt her intellectual prowess, she absolutely knows what it means. If you say no, she will, briefly, stop whatever offending activity she is currently engaged in (hitting the cats, touching the picture frames, trying to electrocute herself by munching on cords, slapping Mommy/Daddy across the face and laughing about it), and look at you. Then, while maintaining eye contact, she will commence said banned activity again. It's the eye contact that makes me completely sure she knows what she's doing: I heard you, and I don't care. Watch me demonstrate your lack of authority!

The problem is, aside from saying no, what do you do with an almost-one-year-old? Obviously, if she's about to endanger herself, others, or--it must be said--valued possessions, we remove her from the situation, but that's about our only recourse, and it's not always possible. There are times when I'm being smacked in the face that putting her down and walking away isn't an option, the check-out line at the grocery store for example. (This particular instance is especially infuriating because there are always other people in the line who think that a young mother admonishing her adorable and chunky little girl is too cute for words, and they smile and laugh, encouraging more mommy-abuse.) We just don't have any other means of communicating to her that when we say no, we mean it. We already decided that we're not going to use force as a means of punishment, so no spanking. (And I would hope that even those people who do spank their children would agree that she's too young for it, in any case.) We also think she's too young for time-outs; I just don't think she would get the concept. By the time I got her to a place where she could be trusted to be alone for a short period of time, she would probably have forgotten what I said no about in the first place. Plus, those locations are limited, and I don't want her to start associating her high-chair or her crib with being in trouble. High-chairs are for eating, and cribs are for sleeping (or talking to yourself while Mommy and Daddy are sleeping for another 15 minutes or so). They are not for screaming because you aren't allowed to eat your books.

So, if anyone has any ideas of non-corporal punishment that might be comprehensible to someone under 18 months, please feel free to share. I think as we near the 1.5 year mark, we may start trying time-out, but until then, we're open to any suggestions anyone might have. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go practice looking stern and unsmiling in a mirror.