Of Two Minds

WARNING: This post is solely about breastfeeding. If you feel you may be uncomfortable with the topic, please skip this one. Thanks!

Yesterday, Maddie reached the eight-month mark. (Eight months! I know!) It's weird to think that in a couple of months, we're going to have to start seriously planning her first birthday party. (Don't even get me started on that. For some reason, it seems that birthday parties for small children must have themes, usually based on something the child really loves, but how do you pick out a theme for a one-year-old? Okay, people, the theme is pureed pears and being outside--Go! It's going to be a process...)

Anyway, long parenthetical rants aside, as she gets older, a question is starting to come up with increasing frequency: So, you're still breastfeeding? When she was just a few months old, people would ask, "Are you still breastfeeding?", but now, it's usually, "So, you're still breastfeeding?" They sound like the same question, but trust me, they aren't. See "Are you?" is encouraging, interested, supportive. "So, you're..." is a little more judgemental. You can see people thinking, "Come on, this kid's almost a year old. Is she really going to be able to quit at a year? Is she going to be one of those crunchy, hippy moms who's still nursing her four-year-old, in public, without any sort of cover, while munching on organic granola and flax seeds?" To the latter, I would give a resounding, No!

See, originally, the plan was to be finished at six-months. I would wean her, and we'd switch her to formula, and life would keep rolling, as it does. But around the five-month mark, I started to feel like I should keep doing it longer. Number one, she really seems to enjoy the nursing session right before bed, and to be honest, so do I. We curl up in the over-stuffed chair in the living room, she settles down to eat, usually half-asleep already as she does so, and I turn on a cooking show that I started watching while I was on maternity leave and still watch every night. (Barefoot Contessa, anyone? I love me some Ina Garten!) It's very relaxing, very private, very much our time. Number two, I still feel like breast milk may be better than formula. I know there are all kinds of studies showing that after six-months of age, there's really not any difference, but it's just how I feel about it for my kid. (A note to any of you who read this and are using, did use, are planning to use formula: I'm not judging you. Really, I'm not. You have to do what you think is right for your family and your baby. There are all kinds of different situations, and I would never dream of telling how to run your life.) Number three, and this is a practical one, it's soooooo much cheaper than formula. I'm not going to use the phrase "In this economy" because I'm getting really tired of hearing that all the time, but the little personal dairy that I'm carrying around between my shoulders and my belly button is probably saving us close to $100/month. Not bad for the former B-cups, if I do say so myself.

However, this post is titled "Of Two Minds" for a reason. I'm getting really, really, really, really, really...really tired of pumping! I'm tired of lugging the big black bag around (because no matter how many adjectives like chic and stylish they throw around, it looks like nothing more or less than a bag containing a breast pump). I'm tired of rinsing and drying the pump parts not to mention having to run the dishwasher every night to get them cleaned and sanitized for the next day. I'm tired of the 1-1.5 hours a day I spend hooked up to a machine. And, to be honest, I'm tired of the attention that it draws. Breastfeeding is still so controversial, and strangely, like with pregnant women, people seem to lose their filter when talking about it. If I were to suddenly decide to become a vegetarian, people might talk about it behind my back, but not many strangers or people I only know slightly would feel comfortable questioning my choice to my face, but for some reason, people feel completely within their rights to tell me what to do with my boobs. When you think about it that way, it's seriously messed up. In what other situation would you feel it was all right to talk about something it isn't even legal to expose in public?

Basically, that's how I feel about it. Just felt like sharing. Interestingly, after I had already started this post, I read an article on breastfeeding and some of the new trends and ideas that are being thrust upon already confused mothers. Check it out here. (As a side note, I adore this parenting website, so for all you Generation X parents out there, it's worth exploring a bit.) My use of the words "thrust upon" may sound as if I don't agree with the article, which isn't true. I agree with a large part of what's being said. I just, as mentioned above, get a little tired of people trying to tell me what to do with the ladies. What are your thoughts? Why is this such a pressure-filled topic?